What is your aspiration in life?

What is your aspiration in life?

As Beyoncé says in her song “Pretty Hurts”, “My aspiration in life, is to be happy.” Don’t get me wrong, I love this song, and Beyoncé is one of, if not my favorite singer of all time, but I when I hear this line I just think, is that really it? I would definitely say I have lived all of my 19 years with that being one of the main aspirations in life. I know my entire freshman year of college all I wanted was to be happy. With the decisions I was making and the lifestyle I was living, I was giving myself little to no chance of being happy, but I thought I had run out of options. It took me several months to get it. My aspirations growing up have been to play professional basketball, to inspire others, to be a role model, to change the world, then as I grew older they started to become more personal. I wanted to be a missionary overseas, I wanted to get married to a godly man who could lead me spiritually, I wanted children, then I wanted to adopt some children from other countries. I wanted to be famous for my work in missions, I wanted to be known for my love of helping others, I wanted people to hear my name and think of Jesus when they heard it. Here is the deal, though. I have my aspirations and my goals, and those are good things, but what is REALLY important when you are here on earth? Is it the success in what you do? Is it to make the most money? Is it who you marry and raising your kids to be all-stars in everything they do? What really is “our purpose” and what should be our true aspiration? I am only nineteen years old and I turn twenty in three months, so I may be wrong, but this is what I know. I have studied a lot, I have read a lot, I have listened a lot, I have heard some of the smartest, most inspirational, wisest, scholarly authors, speakers, pastors, and teachers in my life time. I haven’t lived long enough to probably be listened to or heard, but I do know what I have learned from the wiser ones who spoke truth into my life.

I am going to be quoting from a sermon I heard at Gateway Young Adults that I have been attending every Tuesday since June of this past summer.

1.     What is it that you want? The desire of every human is to know and to be known in loving relationships. You will never achieve to be all God has for you to be unless you are rooted in healthy relationships. Colossians 3:9-11 Our new self is being renewed in the image of its creator. We cannot be fully conformed into the image of our creator in isolation.

Ok, so I am going to elaborate on this first point in my own words and experiences. First of all, AMEN. What the heck? If anyone disagrees with this, you are lying and it’s probably because you are in a state of isolation. I’ve been there. I was there, just several months ago actually. And it’s true, I was in denial and did not realize it. All I wanted was to know and to be known in a loving relationship. It may have resulted in me confiding into the wrong relationships, but to me it was better to be known and loved than to not be known or loved at all. Here was the issue, when you put your “happiness” into the wrong things, people, relationships, etc., not only will it leave you alone again, but it will leave you completely empty and deprived. I’d say another point to this issue that I dealt with in my life specifically was, I desired a godly mentor so badly. I knew I needed advice and mentoring, all it came down to was the lack of trust I had because of the experience of betrayal and gossip. I remember after every home game last year I would watch the game the next day on ESPN’s website just to listen to the commentator, Kelley Deyo. I wanted to hear every word she had to say, because I knew every time she talked about me, she was going to say something really good! It was one of the only sources of encouragement I was receiving at the time. I wanted to reach out to her to be my mentor, but was afraid of who I could and couldn’t trust. Actually, I started going to counseling and started to think I didn’t need a personal mentor anymore. Mrs. Deyo doesn’t know any of this, but I used to literally sit in my dorm room watching the game recap on my laptop with the audio blaring on my UE BOOM Speaker (shout out to Verizon) and cry because I couldn’t believe someone could watch me play and talk so highly of me as a player, as a freshman, and as a person. That is sort of sad, but it meant a lot to me, it still does. My old roommate probably thought I was the weirdest person ever because I was crying while watching our games haha! Anyways, back on track now, the last statement in this first point is, you CANNOT be fully conformed into the image of our Creator in a state of isolation. True. I’d know. You need people, believe it or not. You don’t need to be putting your full reliance and dependence on people, that won’t work either, trust me, I’D KNOW. But, you do need people, the right people in your life. It is like “The Power of the Other”, a book I read this summer written by Dr. Henry Cloud. You need to be invested in godly relationships, you need godly mentors, spiritual leaders, you need people who will be bold and honest with you, but loving and encouraging to you. You need to be held accountable, you need to be transparent, you need to be vulnerable and honest, you will not grow into the full potential God has for you if you don’t.

2.     What does community look like? To be a follower of Jesus is to sign up and be engaged in a community that is passionate about Jesus. 1 Peter 2:22 love is self-sacrificial giving of your time, your energy, your engagements in each other’s lives. LOVE IS A SELF-SACRIFICIAL GIVING OF YOUR TIME, YOUR ENERGY, YOUR ENGAGEMENTS IN EACH OTHER’S LIVES. I realized something. When I think of myself I think of myself to be a loving, caring, compassionate, generous, giving, selfless person. I realized that is who I WANTED to be and I was not that at all. Giving is my love language, so that is just a part of me, but what have I truly been giving? My freshman year of college, was I sacrificing my time, my energy, and engaging in others’ lives? No. I was all about myself. I did what I wanted to do, I devoted my time to basketball, I devoted my time to my fleshly desires, I devoted my time to the obsession of becoming the best in my sport. I don’t know how I managed to have a 4.0 in school with the lack of motivation I had, maybe because freshman year Gen-Ed classes and common sense. I wasn’t involved in any groups, I wasn’t involved in a church home, I barely even talked to my best friends back home. I wasn’t doing anything with my life. I remember picking up my Bible in January and wiping dust off of it. This is the sad reality, but I was in isolation in life, but also in isolation in my relationship with Christ. To come out of isolation or depression, you have to physically get up and go out. You have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations, because if you don’t, nobody else will make you, because you already isolated yourself from everyone!! Sign up for those clubs, do research on what groups are in your city, in your area, be a part of something, even if you don’t want to submit that forum, even if you don’t want to sign up for whatever it is. Wake up on Sunday mornings and physically get up, once you’re up, you’re good. Don’t lie and say you don’t feel well, Jesus wasn’t feeling too great either when he was hanging on the cross with nails in his hands and feet, thorns buried in his skull, and gashes in his skin, but he did it anyways. Don’t become complacent in the life of isolation, in depression, don’t stay there. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You need to be involved in a HEALTHY community. Key words, healthy.

3.     How do we enter into community? 1 John 1:5-7 light reveals what is hidden. Woah. Is this not the truth? In community God is the one who does the revealing, but it is brought out in community. Light illuminates and purifies. Freedom comes from presenting ourselves in vulnerability and honesty. God does a purifying work when we confess our sins to others. I know there is a verse in James (maybe chapter 5) about this, but forgive me, I am still learning. This is absolutely true, and I would know. I could totally go off on another rabbit trail (which if you know me you know I always do, and I am pretty sure I already have within this writing), but I want to talk about godly influences before I wrap all this up.

1      Get a spiritual leader. Get several. Someone who knows you, who knows what you struggle with, who holds you accountable, and who exemplifies Christ. Mine are Coach Gerlich, Coach Cole, Mrs. Merryman, and my mom. These people encourage me spiritually, but also push me in every aspect of life to be the best version of myself (which is who God created me to be).

2      Have friends that tell you not to go down that road, date that person, make that choice. Walk with the wise and you’ll become wise. Walk with the foolish and you’ll get in trouble. Duh. So much easier said than done, though.

3      The influence of fellowship (church) brings stability and growth. Do not neglect meetings together at church. Just go, be loved, and love.

4      No friends, no influence, no fellowship leads to isolation and depression. AGAIN, trust me, I WOULD KNOW. Commit to finding godly friends, a godly spiritual leader, and to fellowship.

All this to say, what is your aspiration in life? To be happy? How do you achieve happiness? Is it sexual immorality? Is it money? Is it dependence in somebody? Is it your job? Is it school? Is it your sport? Let me tell you something, if it’s something temporary, you’ll be pseudo-happy (I think I just created that word) AKA you think you’re happy, but you’re tricking yourself. It won’t last. Seek God. Find yourself in Him, in His love, in His mercy, in His compassion, in His grace, and you’ll find your happiness. Search for God like you search for your only pair of keys when they are lost. What is keeping you from chasing after God? Seek God EVERY DAY. Be intentional about it. Make time. Don’t make the excuse that you don’t have enough time. You make time for the things you love. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “you will seek me and find me when you seek me with your WHOLE heart.”

So, if God asked you, “What is your aspiration in life?” Just like that random dude with the deep voice in the song “Pretty Hurts” asks Beyoncé, will your response be pleasing and honoring to Him? Is your lifestyle pleasing to the Creator of the Universe?

“You’ll never know how far God has brought you, if you forget how lost you once were.”